Steven Wright
When you shoot a mime, should you use blanks ?
I make wine at home. I make it out of raisins so that it will be aged automatically.
If you didn't know me, would you think I was a stranger ?
What's another word for thesaurus ?
I can levitate birds, but nobody cares.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Whenever I think of the past it just brings back so many memories.
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There go the people. I must follow them for I am their leader.
Discontent is the source of all trouble, but also of all progress, in individuals and nations.
Coming together is a beginning keeping together is progress working together is success.
A fellow doesn't last long on what he has done. He has to keep on delivering.
Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant ?
Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
First rule of fight club is, you do not talk about fight Club.
Wealth belongs to the person who enjoys it and not to the one who keeps it.
Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love.
Love, a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.
Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity ; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.
What ever you are be a good one.
I believe that every human mind feels pleasure in doing good to another.
I have learned that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it, begin it now.
Dare to be free, dare to go as far as your thought leads, and dare to carry that out in your life.
Hey, lady !
Nothing succeeds like success.
The several tribes of indians inhabiting the regions of the upper missouri, and of whom I spoke in my last letter, are undoubtedly the finest looking, best equipped, and most beautifully costumed of any on the continent.
Love the giver more than the gift.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
When you work, work, and when you play, play, dont get the two mixed up
This is this.
A mature man is his own judge. In the end, his only form of support is being faithful to his own convictions. The advice of others may be welcomed invaluable, but it does not free him from responsibility.
There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group, there is less competition there.
Courage is a moral quality , it is not a chance gift of nature like an aptitude for games. It is a cold choice between two alternatives, the fixed resolve not to quit , an act of renunciation which must be made not once but many times by the power of the will. Courage is will power.
Fill your hands, you son-of-a-bitch !
See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence , see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence we need silence to be able to touch souls.
There are only two things more beautiful than a good gun, a swiss watch and a woman from anywhere.
When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard', I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what ?'
Everyone who achieves success in a great venture, solves each problem as they came to it. They helped themselves. And they were helped through powers known and unknown to them at the time they set out on their voyage. They keep going regardless of the obstacles they met.
The real and lasting victories are those of peace and not of war.
Examine the opportunities, the challenges you've given yourself.
It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
Young love is a flame , very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.
Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.
Wisdom is not like money to be tied up and hidden.
Our love is here to stay.
Love is most nearly itself when here and now cease to matter.
To catch lots of fish, you must first go to the water. To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.
The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
You've got to ask yourself one question : Do I feel lucky ? Well, do ya, punk ?
Time is really the only capital that any human being has and the thing that he can least afford to waste or lose.
I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample under foot. Men are not superior by reason of the accidents of race or color. They are superior who have the best heart the best brain.
But we can not avoid conflict, conflict with society, other individuals and with oneself. Conflicts may be the sources of defeat, lost life and a limitation of our potentiality but they may also lead to greater depth of living and the birth of more far-reaching unities, which flourish in the tensions that engender them.
There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity.
Where there is life, there is hope. Where there are hopes, there are dreams. Where there are vivid dreams repeated, they become goals. Goals become the action plans and game plans that winners dwell on in intricate detail, knowing that achievement is almost automatic when the goal becomes an inner commitment. The response to the challenges of life -- purpose -- is the healing balm that enables each of us to face up to adversity and strife.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
This is the people's war ! It is our war ! We are the fighters ! Fight it, then ! Fight it with all that is in us, and may god defend the right.
Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it can not be seen or measured - yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more than any material possession ever could.
When people are like each other they tend to like each other.
Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. They are but improved means to an unimproved end, an end which was already but too easy to arrive at
Almost all of the world-class athletes and other peak performers are visualizers. They see it , they feel it, they experience it before they actually do it. They began with the end in mind. You can do it in every area of your life. Before performance, a sales presentation, a difficult confrontation, or the daily challenge of meeting a goal, see it clearly, vividly, relentlessly, over and over again. Create an internal "comfort zone''. Then, when you get into the situation, it isn't foreign. It doesn't scare you.
Successful people make decisions quickly (as soon as all the facts are available) and change them very slowly (if ever). Unsuccessful people make decisions very slowly, and change them often and quickly.
Keep the Faith.
You are never a loser until you quit trying.
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
Seek first to understand, then be understood
Instill great values in your children today and your grandchildren will prosper tomorrow.
Dreams don't work unless you do.
Go ahead, make my day.
But inaction itself is a kind of action, and it has consequences. Consistently and absolutely maintained, inaction would necessarily lead to swift ruin , it would be a form of suicide. A refusal to enter into the world is a refusal to meet the challenge of reality which darkly demands that I dare and find out what will happen. In my situation I bear responsibility for what occurs because I do not intervene , if I can do something and I don't do it, I am guilty of the consequences of my inaction.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business.
If you can dream it, you can do it.
Love is perfect kindness
All of the most successful human beings I've know were inwardly at war with themselves. Their turmoil was at least as great as our own, and sometimes greater. What distinguished these leaders was not some inner peace but rather how they had learned to organize their lives around a noble ambition and to focus on it.
People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value.
The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for.
Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low.
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.
I'm Multi-Dimensional !
This is the true measure of love, when we believe that we alone can love, that no one could ever have loved so before us, and that no one will ever love in the same way after us.
Failure doesn't mean you are a failure, it just means you haven't succeeded yet.
Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole ! It's in the hole ! It's in the hole !
A dream is simply reality waiting to happen.
The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive.
The secret of education lies in respecting the student.
Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.
When you can't solve the problem, manage it.
Those at the top of the mountain didn't fall there.
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.
Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.
Love reminds you that nothing else matters.
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.