Steven Wright
When you shoot a mime, should you use blanks ?
I make wine at home. I make it out of raisins so that it will be aged automatically.
If you didn't know me, would you think I was a stranger ?
What's another word for thesaurus ?
I can levitate birds, but nobody cares.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Whenever I think of the past it just brings back so many memories.
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Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace.
Personally, veda's convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.
Be grateful to the Man you help, think of him as god. Is it not a great privilege to be allowed to worship god by helping our fellow men ?
If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.
You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event - it is a habit.
You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself.
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands, not merely to grasp the world, but to change it
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
If you have to drive people that hard to do their job, then you've either got the wrong people, or you've got the right people doing the wrong job.
If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible.
Fill your hands, you son-of-a-bitch !
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
The first step towards success in any occupation is to become interested in it.
We all love best not those who offend us least, nor those who have done most for us, but those who make it most easy for us to forgive them.
You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
The best job goes to the person who can get it done without passing the buck or coming back with excuses.
When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world.
May you live all the days of your life.
No, this trick won't work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love ?
Thou art to me a delicious torment.
Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, 'What's in it for me?'
That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.
The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.
Nature does nothing uselessly.
Whatever it takes !
The more I love myself the better I am able to love you.
Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. You don't fail overnight. Instead, failure is a few errors in judgment, repeated every day.
If you would create something, you must be something.
On the last analysis, then, love is life. Love never faileth and life never faileth so long as there is love.
Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience.
The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.
Those who work at a thing with their whole heart receive help from god. For one, thoroughly believe that no power in the universe can withhold from anyone anything they really deserve.
A gentle breeze blowing in the right direction is better than a pair of strong oars.
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
L-I-V-E ! Live ! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
I make wine at home. I make it out of raisins so that it will be aged automatically.
Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.
When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen. There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching
No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted.
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
Forget about it.
Obstacles are those frightful things you can see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Learning karate requires self-control and discipline Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by.
Many people seem to think that success in one area can compensate for failure in other areas. But can it really ? True effectiveness requires balance.
To become a leader, then, you must become yourself, become the maker of your own life.
Mr. Christian !
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
Our schools and are not teaching students to think. It is astonishing how many young people have difficulty in putting their brains definitely and systematically to work.
You complete me.
Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better.
Make no mistake, my friend, it takes more than money to make men rich.
Non !
Action may not always bring happiness , but there is no happiness without action.
Volunteers don't get paid, not because they're worthless, but because they're priceless.
Love is made by two people, in different kinds of solitude. It can be in a crowd, but in an oblivious crowd.
Yo, Adrian !
We have a problem. ''Congratulations. '' But it's a tough problem. ''Then double congratulations. ''
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
For one person to love another, that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the last test and proof, the work for which all else is but preparation.
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
Between stimulus and response, one has the freedom to choose.
We all go a little mad sometimes.
Love is a decision not an emotion or feeling, that if made from the heart will outlast anything.
No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -- unless you let him.
For love is heaven, and heaven is love.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Play for more than you can afford to lose and you will learn the game.
Nothing liberates our greatness like the desire to help, the desire to serve.
Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.
The first and greatest commandment is, Don't let them scare you.
How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy.
I am your number one fan.
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
All great truths are simple in final analysis, and easily understood ; if they are not, they are not great truths.
Love is a verb.
We are ever free if we would only believe it, only have faith enough. You are the soul, free and eternal, ever free, ever blessed. Have faith enough and you will be free in a minute.
Happiness is a state of mind.
I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life.
Faith can move mountains.
Living a life of integrity is one of the greatest missions we can undertake.
Only after you challenge your biases and stereotypes-- what Francis Bacon called the 'idols which beset men's minds'--can you help others do the same.
This is this.
A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
Stand up, be bold, be strong. Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are the creator of your own destiny. All the strength and succor you want is within yourself. Therefore, make your own future.
Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Inspiration and genius -- one and the same.
Stop makin noises like a husband.
You're happiest while you're making the greatest contribution.
Even though I am nearly deaf, I seem to be gifted with a kind of inner hearing which enables me to detect sounds and noises which the ordinary listener does not hear. quotes
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
A gentleman can withstand hardships , it is only the small man who, when submitted to them, is swept off his feet.
Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back.