George Carlin Quotes - DoolBug

George Carlin

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Tonight's weather forecast - dark, with continued darkness until morning.

George Carlin

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If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.

Somerset Maugham

We are all born for love, it is the principle existence and it's only end.

Benjamin Disraeli

People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally 'being lived'. They are acting out scripts written by parents, associates and society.

Stephen Covey

I want the fairy tale.

Vivian, Pretty Woman (1990)

God gives nothing to those who keep their arms crossed.

Bambara Proverb

When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

Oscar Wilde

The best portion of a good man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts, of kindness and of love.

William Wordsworth

Happiness is not pleasure, it is victory.

Zig Ziglar

First say to yourself what you would be , and then do what you have to do.

Epictetus

Well done is better than well said.

Benjamin Franklin

Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things.

Corinthians

You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

Jim Rohn

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.

Albert Einstein

Captain, it is I, Ensign Pulver, and I just threw your stinking palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crud about no movie tonight ?

Ensign Pulver, Mister Roberts (1955)

Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.

Elbert Hubbard

He who speaks the loudest is the least heard.

Robert Half

Action, to be effective, must be directed to clearly conceived ends.

Jawaharlal Nehru

In all things of nature, there is something of the marvelous.

Aristotle

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Judy Garland

I am quite correctly described as 'more of a sponge than an inventor'.

Thomas Edison

I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.

Elie Wiesel

Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into !

Oliver, Sons Of The Desert (1933)

I want everyone to be the way I strive to become -- to be himself in his truth. Do not follow me, follow yourself ! is the existential challenge. Self-being awakens self-being but does not force itself on it.

Karl Jaspers

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.

Henry J. Kaiser

The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.

Robert H. Schuller

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

George Bernard Shaw

Talkers are no good doers.

William Shakespeare

Love is something eternal.

Vincent Van Gogh

There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because his conscience tells him it is right.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Albert Einstein

Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity ; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.

Earl Nightingale

Where there is love there is no darkness.

Burundi Proverb

There's no place like home.

Dorothy Gale, The Wizard Of Oz Mgm (1939)

You may conquer with the sword, but you are conquered by a kiss.

Daniel Heinsius

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose site of the shore.

Unknown

Ideas attract money, time, talents, skills, energy and other complementary ideas that will bring them into reality.

Mark Victor Hansen

Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.

Erich Fromm

The love that lasts longest is the love that is never returned.

Somerset Maugham

Condemn none. If you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way.

Swami Vivekananda

On the last analysis, then, love is life. Love never faileth and life never faileth so long as there is love.

Henry Drummond

Mr. Christian !

Captain Bligh, Mutiny On The Bounty (1935)

Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much.

Erich Fromm

Those people who develop the ability to continuously acquire new and better forms of knowledge that they can apply to their work and to their lives will be the movers and shakers in our society for the indefinite future.

Brian Tracy

You are the handicap you must face. You are the one who must choose your place. You can make goals for family, relationships, anything.

Michael Johnson

Love thy neighbour as thyself.

Matthew

Love is like a piece of art work, even the smallest bit can be so beautiful.

Stacie Cunningham

When you can't solve the problem, manage it.

Robert H. Schuller

It's always darkest before the dawn.

Unknown

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

Michael Corleone, The Godfather (1990)

Platitudes ? Yes, there are platitudes. Platitudes are there because they are true.

Margaret Thatcher

Great effort from great motives is the best definition of a happy life.

William Ellery Channing

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.

Seneca

A strong person and a waterfall always channel their own path.

Anonymous

I have seen him set fire to his wigwam and smooth over the graves of his fathers, clap his hand in silence over his mouth, and take the last look over his fair hunting ground, and turn his face in sadness to the setting sun.

George Catlin

Face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance.

Evelyn Couch, Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Maximus, Gladiator (2000)

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, 'I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, violent one, the other wolf is the loving compassionate one.' The grandson asked him, 'Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?' The grandfather answered, 'The one I feed.'

Blackhawk

Teamwork is so important that it is virtually impossible for you to reach the heights of your capabilities or make the money that you want without becoming very good at it.

Brian Tracy

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

Mahatma Gandhi

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.

Aldous Huxley

I want it said of me by those who knew me best ; that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.

Abraham Lincoln

Effective people are not problem-minded , they're opportunity-minded. They feed opportunities and starve problems.

Stephen Covey

An Arabian proverb says there are four sorts of men: He who knows not and knows not he knows not: he is a fool, shun him. He who knows not and knows he knows not: he is simple, teach him. He who knows and knows not he knows: he is asleep--wake him. He who knows and knows he knows: he is wise, follow him.

Isabel Burton

Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.

Japanese Proverb

What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail ?

Robert H. Schuller

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.

Antoine De Saint-Exupery

The best and most beautiful things in the world can not be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

Helen Keller

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.

Eleanor Roosevelt

The entire law is summed up in a single command, Love your neighbor as yourself.

Galatians 514

He is the best physician who is the most ingenious inspirer of hope.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The whole universe is only the self with variations, one tune made bearable by variations. Sometimes there are discords, but they only make the subsequent harmony more perfect. In this hell of a world one can bring a little joy and peace even for a day into the heart of a single person, that much alone is true, this I have learnt after suffering all my life, all else is mere moonshine.

Swami Vivekananda

He who knows all the answers has not yet been asked all the questions.

Unattributed

No man is happy who does not think himself so.

Publilius Syrus

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Even though I am nearly deaf, I seem to be gifted with a kind of inner hearing which enables me to detect sounds and noises which the ordinary listener does not hear. quotes

Thomas Jefferson

Take control of your consistent emotions and begin to consciously and deliberately reshape your daily experience of life.

Anthony Robbins

I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.

Oprah Winfrey

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

William Shakespeare

'Wake Me When It's Funny'

Gary Marshall

Unfortunately, most of the students in martial art are conformers. The student seldom learns to depend upon himself for expression. Instead, he faithfully or blindly follows an instructor, the authority figure, and his instructor's imposed pattern. That way, the student feels he is no longer alone and finds security in mass imitation. However, what is nurtured is the dependent mind rather than independent inquiry, which is so essential to genuine understanding. So through daily conditioning a student will probably be skilled according to a pattern, however, he will not come to understand himself.

Bruce Lee

Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities -- always see them, for they're always there.

Norman Vincent Peale

The purpose of life is not to be happy but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all.

Leo Rosten

Do not let the reasons for your challenges become the excuses for your failure.

Laura Frith

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

Ingrid Bergman

If we are to achieve results never before accomplished, we must expect to employ methods never before attempted.

Francis Bacon

All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.

Martin Luther King Jr.

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.

Jonathan Winters

Perspective is in the quiet of a walk, the wisdom of a good book, or the harmony of your favorite music. I find it sometimes in the slow peace of fishing.

Michael Johnson

We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.

George Bernard Shaw

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.

Ambrose Redmoon

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

Only by contending with challenges that seem to be beyond your strength to handle at the moment you can grow more surely toward the stars.

Brian Tracy

Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.

The Wizard of Oz

It is not the job of the general to be winning. It is his job to win.

Nancy Banks-Smith

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Veronica Quaife, The Fly (1986)

We are what our thoughts have made us, so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live, they travel far.

Swami Vivekananda

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.

Benjamin Disraeli

To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.

Anne Sophie Swetchine

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.

William Arthur Ward

I am again fairly settled down to the pleasant duties of an old fashioned Virginia house-keeper, steady as a clock, busy as a bee, and as cheerful as a cricket.

Martha Washington